Grief Contd...

"Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross identified 5 stages of grief and explains what people might experience after the loss of a loved one. 

Shock and Denial: Shock and denial are defined characteristics of the normal grief process. These reactions and feelings occur for the survivor to cope with the initial impact of the death. Feelings associated with shock and denial can include numbness, difficulties with decision making, poor daily functioning, and emotional outbursts. These feelings eventually decrease in intensity and subside. The survivor may then experience the next stage of grief.

Anger and Guilt: A normal survivor response during the grief process may be anger at the loved one has died and “abandoned them” or “left them behind.” Anger may be directed at the physician, the health care worker, other family members, friends, or some higher being. The anger is often strong and may be difficult for the survivor to control.

Many survivors also feel guilt even when they were not responsible for the death. These feelings of guilt are often based on the survivors’ belief that they have not done all that was possible to prevent the death, that they did not take good enough care of the loved one or that they were often impatient with the loved one prior to the death. Characteristics of this stage can include survivors’ searching and yearning for the deceased, restlessness and bargaining. They will often pose questions such as “What if?” or “If only.”

Depression: Depression is also a normal part of the grief process. It can be characterized by sadness, loneliness, emptiness, lack of interest in daily life, insomnia, loss, or increase in appetite and life review of one’s interactions with the deceased loved one. The survivor is often disorganized and apathetic.

Acceptance of the Loss: When survivors have successfully gone through the stages of grief, they will eventually accept the loss and begin to continue their lives without the loved one. They will begin to reorganize their lives, find hope in the future, feel more energetic and begin to feel “free” of some of the pain associated with their grief. Decision-making becomes easier and more appropriate and they will begin to rebuild their lives by reaching out to others and participating in social events.

Ø  It should be noted that not every survivor goes through these stages in progression. They may go back and forth between stages, skip stages or periodically stop at a stage. Going through these stages can take up to a year or beyond depending on the magnitude of the loss. The progression through the stages of grief is also dependent on the individual survivor’s personality, past experiences with death, quality of relationship with the deceased and other factors that influence and affect the coping skills of the survivor. "

Certification Program of the Hospice Institute of the Florida Suncoast. Karen Lo et al, 1996

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